Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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