I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
