Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
