their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
