Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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