but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
