dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
