I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
