What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
