Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
