glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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