he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
