oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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