and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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