I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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