We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
