I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
