I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
