I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
