I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
