Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
