It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
