return my video game
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
