Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
