I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
