go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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