Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
