Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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