yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
