Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
