Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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