all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
