4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
