well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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