There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
