i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
