Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
