Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
