i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
