Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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