508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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