I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
