I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
handjob tips. give me some.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
