google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
