is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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