rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
