dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
