You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
