Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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