Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
