omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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