i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
