It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
