if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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