see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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