i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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