I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
