I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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