So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
