The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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