I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
