OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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