No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
