Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
