Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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