No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
