Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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